The Friend by Sigrid Nunez — reviewed by Stanley the Dog (Gail Hanney, Decoda Director, Fund Development)

Why is every story with a dog almost always sad?

The Friend is a novel about grief. A woman’s friend, writing teacher and former lover ends his own life. Afterward she’s asked to take in his dog, Apollo — a massive, drooling, mourning Great Dane she’s told “knows how to stay off the bed.”

Except he doesn’t.

The woman and Apollo are both grieving the same person. At first, they don’t know what to do with each other. Then one day she reads aloud from Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet — Rilke was a dog lover — and Apollo listens.

“As I keep reading, he lowers himself to the floor, covering my feet and pressing into my shins. He relaxes his head onto his paws, tipping his eyes at me each time I turn a page.”

Later he carries a book from the coffee table and drops it beside her on the couch.

There’s no dramatic breakthrough. More of a shift. Just two beings, side by side, trying to make sense of life after loss.

And here’s the part that gets me. My person works for Decoda Literacy, so she’s always talking about how reading connects people. I thought she meant humans. But here, a woman and a dog find comfort in the same story — the voice, the rhythm, the shared words.

This book is full of reflections on writing, friendship, suicide and the morality of stories. Like her late friend, the narrator is a writer. She thinks about Virginia Woolf, J.M. Coetzee, Chekhov and Kundera. She wonders why we tell stories, who they’re for and whether we can ever truly speak for someone else.

But the big question running through the book is: What will happen to the dog?

Apollo isn’t allowed in her building. The landlord threatens eviction. She has to choose: keep Apollo and lose her affordable apartment — or give him up.

As a Chihuahua–terrier mix, if I met Apollo in Stanley Park (yes, it’s named after me), I’d probably bark my head off. I don’t get Great Danes. They’re half horse, half dog. Apollo stands seven feet tall on his back legs and has no idea how big he is. And did I mention the drool? Plus, he doesn’t like other dogs, so we’d definitely give each other space.

Still, I understand him.

I know what it’s like to wait by the door for someone to come back. To listen to a voice that calms you, that makes the world feel safe.

And yes, Apollo spends most of his time on the bed. Of course he does. That’s where dogs belong.

Some books keep you turning the pages because you need to know what happens. Others stay with you because of how they make you feel. The Friend does both.

You should read it — if only to find out what happens to the dog.